I’m opening ‘50 Shades of Grey’ to a random page and posting what I find. Part nine.

mrdestructo:

Christian Grey put his thumb in my mouth. And then the other one. And then two more. ”Wider,” he said as he put in one more. “I bet you’ve never had this many thumbs in your mouth.” I hadn’t.

Just checked Fifty Shades of Grey. The passages that contain the word “thumbs”:

  1. Next, I set up the mini-disc recorder and am all fingers and thumbs, dropping it twice on the coffee table in front of me.
  2. His fingers hook into my panties at the back, stretching them, and he pushes his thumbs through the material, shredding them and tossing them in front of me so I can see… holy shit.
  3. Hooking his thumbs into my jeans, he slowly slides them down my legs, sinking down behind me as he pulls them and my panties to the floor.
  4. He gently strokes my nipples with his thumbs over and over.
  5. He squeezes my nipples between our thumbs, pulling gently so that they elongate further.
  6. His thumbs hook over my white cotton panties, and abruptly he drops to his knees as he tugs them off.

Notice what passage ISN’T present?

People insist on making up shit to prove that the Fifty Shades series is crap. I’ll concede that some of the made-up shit is funny. But making shit up is not helping. It just convinces the fans that a) those who hate the series haven’t bothered to read it and b) that we antis have no ammunition, because if we had actual justifiable complaints, we wouldn’t have to make shit up, would we? 

You want some reasons to hate this series?

  1. The book series itself is complete and utter tedium with copypasted sex scenes that all sound alike; 
  2. the lack of plot–seriously, NOTHING HAPPENS in three books;
  3. the female lead is willfully ignorant, is prone to forget what happened in previous paragraphs, let alone previous chapters, and  is alternately terrified of the male lead and merely enduring what she’s told is BDSM while picturing him as a sad Dickensian toddler (usually while wanting to screw him)
  4. the fetishization of small children, which is everywhere in this series and becomes even creepier when Christian and Ana start talking about their unborn daughter enjoying sex;
  5. rampant misogyny; 
  6. complete lack of research about key subjects, including (but not limited to) BDSM, even if these are subjects about which the characters are supposed to be expert;
  7. Christian’s series-long campaign to deprive Ana of all agency, quite against her will (at least when she isn’t looking at him, which melts her one brain cell); 
  8. Christian’s enraged tantrums every time he doesn’t get his own way, generally followed by orgasm denial, withdrawal of affection, and emotional manipulation; 
  9. Christian Grey only worsening as a human being as  the books go on; 
  10. Ana getting  a solid case of Stockholm Syndrome, which convinces her that she’s in true love (rather than loving orgasms) and that love and vanilla sex can eliminate his psychological issues; 
  11. and the author persistently erasing anything that could lead to plot, character development or change. 

Bad enough for you?

(via klokwerkheart)

Feb. 21 2015
Via mrdestructo
#Fifty Shades of Grey #fifty shades darker #fifty shades freed #fifty kinds of garbage #stop making shit up
168,871 notes

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